The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I'm absolutely convinced that our microwave is equipped with a handle detector. Whenever I put a jug,mug or other receptacle with a handle into the microwave, without fail at the end of the programme, it ends up with the handle pointing towards the back of the microwave, meaning I have to grope around at the back to get it out. EVERY TIME!
I've tried fooling it. Putting the handle in at the back or the side in an effort to affect the final handle position, but to no avail. It always points directly backward.
I've even tried experimenting with it, to make sure that the phenomoenon is not just a random one. I've put a jug in, handle forward for exactly a minute. At the end of the programme the handle points backwards. I've put a jug in, handle backward, with the same result.
How the hell is this happening??? I think it might be eating away at my sanity. Someone help, please!
...Ben
