The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So the concept of fully biodegradable carrier bags seems like good idea. They are designed to start biodegrading after 18 months and the process is complete after 3 years, according to the blurb on the bag itself.
However, yesterday I found out the flaw in this concept. What happens if said carrier bag is not in a landfill site when it starts to biodegrade ??? I am typing this to warn you of a new phenomenon that has started to occur...
Yesterday at work whilst clearing out a cupboard (we are moving offices next month) I saw an unloved carrier bag at the back behind some folders. I reached out and grabbed it whereupon it 'spontaneously' biodegraded in my hand covering me and the air around me with thousand of tiny plastic staticy bits that clung to my clothing and just generally made a complete mess everywhere. It was difficult not to breathe in the bits as well.
So beware the unloved carrier bag in the back of the cupboard!
