The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Getting married is an expensive affair, even when you are only a guest. New research from CreditExpert has found that 1.6 million people - six per cent of us - have actually gone into debt in order to attend a wedding.
The trend for overseas ceremonies, stag and hen parties has added to the cost, with 44 per cent of the guests at an exotic wedding filled with resentment at having to be there and only going along because they feel pressured.
But even when the celebrations are held locally, the price of attendance can be high, at an average of £386. Stag and hen parties account for the largest chunk of this sum, at £130, with a wedding gift costing £70, clothes £64, travel £49, accommodation £48 and drinks £26.
No wonder that 16 per cent of us resent the amount we have to spend to attend and a further 13 per cent - one in seven people - refuse to go to some weddings because they simply cost too much.
Seems like an awful lot of money to waste just have em pick up the phone in a couple of years to tell you that its all gone down the u-bend and they're separating anyway!
I'm firmly in the "Cant be arsed to go" camp!
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
I'm going to San Fransisco for a wedding at the end of the month. Admittedly it was more of an excuse to tack on two weeks of holiday in place I've never been, but stil...
I've never found that attending a wedding was that expensive.. even with flights and what not... but being IN a wedding can break you. I'm in two weddings this year.. a few months apart... oof.
bonniepirateanne wrote:Stead, I feel sorry for you and your terrible opinion of marriage.
Short Santa wrote:I agree, you are a 100% miserable f*ck wit - what are you exactly earning your massive (ahem) salary for? saving it for the whales?
Heh. Tell us what you really think, there Santa. Don't hold back!
To be fair to poor old Steaders, he has always operated from a purely logical viewpoint when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. Which explains two things:
a) why he never gets laid; and
b) why he's never been royally screwed over in a divorce like some other people I could mention (ahem).
Aodan wrote:You're going to the wrong coast JDK!
Not true, actually. I'm kinda visiting both sides of the country. Not my fault that all the cool people don't live there?
I may have a biased opinion of marriage but remember as a Bank Manager I spent a good deal of my time helping clear up the aftermath of divorces - they are almost always crippling. There is no doubt in my mind that people waste huge amounts of money on what is effectively a day out. Sign the pre-nup, Say the vows, have a sandwhich and a beer and save your money for raising kids - thats my view.
Ultimately - you guys may not like it but with the article above and 35% of households in the UK now under single occupancy I would suggest most people actually feel like me - sorry but you're slipping into the minority now.
As for being a "Miserable f*ck wit" - I was voted wittiest person on my team of 25 people last year so there - I make those I like, laugh.
I know alot of you guys are recently married and I wish you all well - review your thoughts on it in say ten years?
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
JonnyStead wrote:Ultimately - you guys may not like it but with the article above and 35% of households in the UK now under single occupancy I would suggest most people actually feel like me - sorry but you're slipping into the minority now.
Somebody do the maths on this one for me. My brain hurts.
Um... 35% of households are single... then there's 65% that have 2 or more occupants. So that's... um, four times (or more) as many people that live in dual (or more) occupancy which means that the sole occupants represent a fifth (or less) of the population and....
No... it really hurts now.
AOL wrote:But even when the celebrations are held locally, the price of attendance can be high, at an average of £386. Stag and hen parties account for the largest chunk of this sum, at £130, with a wedding gift costing £70, clothes £64, travel £49, accommodation £48 and drinks £26.
Hmm. The wedding I went to at the weekend cost us something like... um... £20 petrol, no accomodation costs cos we stayed at my little brother's, about £3 for the key we broke in his lock at 10pm on a friday night while he was working a night shift at the hospital, maybe £15 on drinks and about £30 for a present. That a grand total of £68. I think Catfish had to hire a dress as she was a bridesmaid, too, but I've no idea home much that was. Round it up to a ton. If it was gonna cost more, I think I'd probably be looking for excuses.
The wedding I'm going to in a few weeks will cost about two and a half grand, but that's just cos it's also my big holiday this year! And the most expensive one I've ever been on! Yowsers!
(Extra points to whoever can tell me where I got the word 'Yowsers')
JDK - I'm glad you chose to do the maths on that one - I was struggling with the '65% are the minority' thing
I read somewhere recently that the average wedding costs £14000 - yeaah, that's an AVERAGE - as in - some people spend way more and some people spend way less - kingBilly and I were in the latter group and, a year and a half later, we're happier than ever - Stead, I will be delighted to regroup in 10 years to discuss how much I still love my husband
(my parents had set aside some money some years ago to pay for their two daughters weddings - we used what we wanted on the wedding, then used the rest to buy a washing machine, dishwasher, carpet and hosue decorating supplies)
Aodan wrote:but being IN a wedding can break you. I'm in two weddings this year.. a few months apart... oof. This is one of those things that baffles me - certainly any wedding I have ever been to in this country, if you're invited to be IN a wedding, the bride and groom (or 'payer') pay for the bridesmaid dresses/groomsmen outfits, we certainly paid for ours 'hey - wanna be in my wedding, it's gonna cost you' - NO WAY! - I find it almost insulting that you might get asked to pay for your own dress etc..
Deary me people - Firstly households arent the same thing as people and not all people are eligible for inclusion in the model (exclude very old / very young / lesbos / mentally disabled / prisoners / non-christians etc -
You need to look at ratio relevant houses vs relevant demographic taken against appropriate sample of population etc - its the basics of how we do insurance modelling and product / population marketing etc -
Sure, if you say 35% of houses have only one person in thats not the majority of houses but it isnt that simple.
-- Edited by JonnyStead at 11:52, 2007-07-05
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Deary me people - Firstly households arent the same thing as people and not all people are eligible for inclusion in the model (exclude very old / very young / lesbos / mentally disabled / prisoners / non-christians etc -
You need to look at ratio relevant houses vs relevant demographic taken against appropriate sample of population etc - its the basics of how we do insurance modelling and product / population marketing etc -
Sure, if you say 35% of houses have only one person in thats not the majority of houses but it isnt that simple.
-- Edited by JonnyStead at 11:52, 2007-07-05
(a).. yes it isn't that simple, many of that 35% are no doubt those that have chosen to or have not yet gotten married.
(b).. exclude very old / very young / lesbos / mentally disabled / prisoners / non-christians etc
WHAT are you talking about???? DEARY ME STEAD
(c) bank manager? I thought you were a sandwich delivery boy-cum-CIA-can't-tell-us-what-you-do-cause-it's-so-magical guy?
Hmm.. I think Shaggy did say it too jdk, but maybe also: Inspector Gadget?
As I said, no idea about Shaggy as I avoided Scooby Doo as much as I could. In this case I got it from Inspector gadget. Those extra points are all yours! Don't eat em all at once!
All those numbers above confuse me. I have no idea what anyone's saying any more. When and why did we go from talking about people getting married to the intricacies of insurance calculations? Argh.
bonniepirateanne wrote:Aodan wrote:but being IN a wedding can break you. I'm in two weddings this year.. a few months apart... oof.
This is one of those things that baffles me - certainly any wedding I have ever been to in this country, if you're invited to be IN a wedding, the bride and groom (or 'payer') pay for the bridesmaid dresses/groomsmen outfits, we certainly paid for ours 'hey - wanna be in my wedding, it's gonna cost you' - NO WAY! - I find it almost insulting that you might get asked to pay for your own dress etc..
I guess it's just kind of expected that you buy your own dress/rent your own tuxedo. Which I have no problem with actually. That's not the part that sinks you.. but depending on the wedding in question... there could be an engagement party (gift), a bridal shower (gift/party supplies/food), a bachelorette/hen party (lots of money gets flushed that night), and while I didn't ask this of the girls in my wedding party sometimes you have to pay for all of your flowers/accessories/etc. It starts to add up. Especially if the intended bride decides to have her shower/bachelorette party somewhere that requires traveling, like a spa or something. My SIL just got over being in a wedding, and the bride was rediculous. I was shocked at the amount of money she had to shell out for various things.
Here a bridal shower usually involves all of the female family members and friends, and the mother of the bride or someone like that usually hosts it. You get gifts and play stupid games and eat finger sandwiches and cake. Then they take all of the ribbons and paper that came on the gifts, attach them to a paper plate and make you wear it while they take pictures and laugh at you.
Bachelorette party is when you and your wedding party/friends go out and (in my case) wear plastic male bits all over yourself, drink out of shotglasses made to look like male bits, go to a donkey show (not what you're thinking.. it was basically oiled, glittery men on roller skates) and bar hopping. Some people opt to go the spa route or something "tamer" but most bachelorette parties I've been to have been raunchy drunken affairs.
So you get engagement gifts, bridal shower gifts and wedding presents? That's shocking!
I don't think we do the bridal shower business over here so much. And I don;t think we generally give gifts at engagement either. So for us, it's pretty much Stag nights and Hen nights. Which mostly involves going out and getting pissed as farts and being thrown out of taxis.
That said, my little brother has been overseas for 2 stag dos this years both to ropey eastern european countries. The flights are really cheap and a pint costs about 12p when you're out there!
Back to the presents... So the bride gets a bridal shower gift and then there's a shared gift for the wedding which, lets face it is generally geared toward the bride again. Things for the house. Towels, that sort of thing. No remote control cars or playstations or Clint eastwood DVDs. The lucky groom is getting stiffed from day one here!
We didn't have an engagement party, but a lot of people do. I just didn't see the point. But yes, generally its a gift for the engagement and the shower (usually off of their registry) and then some people buy registry gifts for the wedding, but a lot of people just give money. That's how I work it. Registry gifts for Engagement and Bridal parties and cash for weddings.
Aodan, my SIL was bridesmaid for like 5 different weddings one summer - and had to attend something like NINE different showers that one of them held - like really, it all got a bit ridiculous for the last one when they held a 'gift card shower' - amazing!
Stead, if you want to resort to insults, that's fine, obviously you are all superior and the most handsome and wonderful and talented man in the world (who hopefully recognises sarcasm when he sees it - obviously, I think my husband is the true owner of these compliments).. but I just didn't understand, specifically, what 'lesbos' and 'non-Christians' had to do with the 35% thing you've been going on about.
My American side of the family threw me a 'lingerie shower', at first I was mostly completely embarrassed - (a) because people were getting invites to my party with my measurements on them and (b) because people I didn't really know were buying me presents. But in the end - it was AWESOME, I got so many wonderful underwear type items that I would never have bought myself and the most bestest cake in the world - shaped like a Victoria Secret box.. haha
Stead, if you want to resort to insults, that's fine, obviously you are all superior and the most handsome and wonderful and talented man in the world (who hopefully recognises sarcasm when he sees it - obviously, I think my husband is the true owner of these compliments).. but I just didn't understand, specifically, what 'lesbos' and 'non-Christians' had to do with the 35% thing you've been going on about.
I wasnt resorting to insults KT and didnt mean to offend you - I was merely responding as politely as I could to the shouting in your previous post to mine (as depicted by your use of capital letters) and thought it best to retreat gracefully.
My mention of the lesbos and non-christians etc were merely as examples of some of the populations which should be excluded from the 'sample' as they either cant or wouldnt get married for reasons other than choice.
Anywho - let us put it behind us now - I'm sure you're very happy with King Billy and whilst statistically most marriages do end in divorce - I truly hope that you and King Billy will defy the odds and have a long happy marriage of positively cinematic proportions.
Finally - as I can only recognise sarcasm when I use it - I thank you for your kind words above
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
I know many non-Christians that are married (and some Christian couples that live together and aren't), and didn't they just change the law so that, (as you call them) 'lesbos' can get married? Also, I think the very old can be married too, as far as I know, there is not an automatic dissolution of marriage when you reach 85 ..
I apologise if you thought I was shouting, I understand in the world of computer etiquette that capital letters do signify that, I was simply trying to express exasperation at your condescending use of the words 'deary me people' - I shall try to 'uncapitalise' in the future, even when bowled over by your sweeping generalisations.
And thank you for putting it 'behind us' with a sarcastically laced paragraph quoting statistics that only bank managers would know.
(PS I am having trouble finding any statistics that support the claim that 'most marriages end in divorce' - anyone?)
