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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> P.M.R.
Post Info TOPIC: P.M.R.
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Apr 5, 2007
P.M.R.
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It seems that the vast majority of the people working in my building suffer from profound mental retardation (or idiocy, if you prefer).  We have recently had card operated revolving security doors installed and the sheer amount of confusion they have caused, buggers* belief.

 

It is a very simple operation.  One places ones ID card against the sensor embedded in the side of the door which engages the door mechanism.  One then simply has to step into the door space and push gently on the door in front of one which will then move around to the appropriate position automatically without any undue effort on ones part.  One walks in a straight line.  Its a bit slow, but one cannot have everything.  


 The aforementioned belief buggery becomes relevant when one observes the sheer number of people who step into the door space and then, for no readily discernable reason, turn to the left and attempt to push the revolving door in the opposite direction.  When it doesnt go anywhere, they try to push harder.  This usually results in the mechanism shutting down for a few moments as it resets itself. 


Further belief buggery occurs when four successive people, having watched the person in front cock it up, then proceed to cock it up in exactly the same way.  These are not morons that have been swept in off the street, they are supposedly professional people who work in one of the UKs largest financial institutions and have careers and everything!  These people could be looking after your money!


Be afraid.  Be very afraid.




      

*This is an intentional spelling mistake.  To bugger belief is far more painful than beggaring it!  It is, to be specific, a pain in the arse.




-- Edited by ddvmor at 15:24, 2007-04-05

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
Aodan


Teiam Member




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Posts: 2078
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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That's a certain kind of special to be sure.

I think you should hide in the bushes and video tape this phenomenon for our amusement.

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bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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yes, do what aodan said!

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JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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indeed - make it so

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"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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Sadly, the revolving doors are inside the building allowing access from reception to the inner sanctums. I think security may have something to say about me filming people in reception. Possibly something to say in the form of a rugby tackle and a sound beating.

After posting this, I wandered out to reception for stuff and things and came across one of my senior managers (two grades above me) struggling in just the same way.

Mong.

Am I allowed to call people 'mong'? It's very unPC, but it feels so right.

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
Aodan


Teiam Member




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Posts: 2078
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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Secret cameras were made for just this purpose!

C'mon JDK.. don't let me down!

The people have spoken! We need video!

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*~*Mouth Breathing DVD Extra Watcher*~*
bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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yeah, i didn't take you to be such a defeatist, shame on you jdk

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current location: Antrim. I like it.
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Apr 5, 2007
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ddvmor wrote:

 in the form of a rugby tackle and a sound beating.


I see no problem here... just get it done...

And no, you cant call people Mongs its very unkind... shame on you and you certainly shouldn't look at this (at least NOT at work anyway!)

http://www2.b3ta.com/mong/



-- Edited by JonnyStead at 22:53, 2007-04-05

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
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