The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Under no circumstances should anyone entertain the idea of going to see the movie Ghost Rider. Despite what Jonathan Ross said on his programme the other day, it'sd bad. It's awful. It's worse, even than Brokeback Mountain.
Any movie that can, in all seriousness, have Nick Cage saying the words 'He may have my soul, but he'll never take my spirit', should be cast into the firey pit of rubbish movies forever.
It wasn't even so bad it's good. It was just Baaaaaaad.
Jonathan Ross is usually pretty good with his reviews, but for this one, he pretty much said 'I thought it was going to be a load of old smelly shite wrapped up in even more smelly old shite but it turned out to be pretty good.' His first instinct was right.
'Ghost Rider' has never been more than a minor member of the Marvel Comics pantheon, and the character was never particularly well defined. The appeal lay largely in the fabulous drawings by Mike Ploog and the striking image of a man with a flaming skull riding a motorbike.
Fairly thin material for the makers of this film to work with then, but they've done a splendid job in weaving it into a thoroughly enjoyable two hour movie.
As with the comic book, so with the film, in that it's the visuals which make the really lasting impression, thanks to inventive lighting and excellent special effects - though the performances are certainly up to scratch. Peter Fonda has the chance to project his brooding malevolence as Mephistopheles, while leading man Nicolas Cage delivers his usual strange, compelling and enjoyable turn. He may be a little too old for this role, but his commitment to the character and the genre is obvious.
That kind of integrity extends to the way the film acknowledges the comic book and even the central figure's Wild West roots. But while there's plenty here to please the purists - and I liked the film much more than I expected to - 'Ghost Rider' is also fast-moving and fiery fun for teenagers of all ages.