Quite right - loads of girls have said the whole "Cold night in hell" thing to me! - they're sorry now though aren't they.................    um no........

quote:

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Originally posted by: ddvmor
"Could a similar theory be applied to the teamperature of Head Offices the world over?  I mean, all that corporate Wankie-Bollocks creating hot air and the friction of all that red tape (is red tape more flammable than ordinary tape?)"

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Indeed, here's my Corporate training for the day:

While each team may be configured differently or the name of the members changed, the roles and responsibilities for a successful implementation are usually very similar.

 

Executive Management: Executive Management, sometimes referred to as Deployment Champions, are responsible for the sponsorship and commitment of an organization to the Six Sigma Methodology. Executive Management provides the organizational structure for successful implementation of Six Sigma. And to ensure success, Executive Management should also be aware of factors that are roadblocks to success and implement a strategy to remove those roadblocks.

 

Champions: Champions are asked with taking an active role in ensuring project development, completion and implementation by regularly reviewing project plans.

They are a resource for removing roadblocks and resistance. They are held accountable for the implementation of the project.

Master Black Belts: Master Black Belts are often former Black Belts who have successfully completed several projects and may have obtained certification. They are knowledge experts in the field of statistics and act as a consultative resource for the Black Belts. Master Black Belts will train, coach and mentor other employees and promote the Six Sigma philosophy throughout the organization.

 

Black Belts: The responsibilities of a Black Belt are:

• Act as both a statistical consultant and team leader for the project

• Work with a Champion in correct project selection.

• Be accountable for results and ensure the gains are sustained by deploying effective control plans.

• Communicate results to leverage gains within and among organizations

• Participate in the training of other employees

 

Black Belts who receive additional training and demonstrate success at leading Six Sigma projects can become Master Black Belts.

Green Belts: Green Belts are a very valuable resource to a Black Belt. It’s usually the Green Belt employees who perform the operations within the process.

These employees will know if any process changes occurred that might not be represented in the process documentation. By learning how to use specific Six Sigma tools, they become more effective in presenting information and ideas to the team. Many times, the Green Belt is the link between the project team and the operational team.

Green Belts are trained to manage projects using the Six Sigma “DMAIC” methodology, and in many cases, are assigned project work by Champions.

 

Financial Liaisons: The responsibility of the Financial Liaison is to provide key financial metric information to facilitate the creation of the Cost of Poor Quality and cost reduction opportunities. They review projects during the design phase, before the solution is implemented, at project completion, and as issues arise.

Guess who gets to be the 'Champion' and 'Financial Liaison' whom a) gets held accountable and b) does all of the supporting, relevant analysis? Moi, while I get a bunch of no-use hi-level crap from 4 or 5 propagandist bureaucrats.

 

Someone please tell me this is a joke!!

-- Edited by NateO at 19:52, 2004-09-08

Is this a good thing Vic? It feels like a layer of... erm... more managers who don't know what they're talking about.

 

Maybe not, could be the same people who simply have an accreditation. But on the same note, when did an accreditation become a job title?!

Can't be sure they do!

Yeah I do.  I do the modelling/analysis/customer segmentation etc that goes into the marketing decisions.  (basically I play with databases and graphs and numbers and stuff all day.  Except at the moment I'm writing the data dictionary for the beast of an Oracle database we use).

Yeah - that's right - you bow down before me.

Are you still bowing?

quote:

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Originally posted by: NateO
"He he, okay, just remember what the Stead man told you: 'keep your head down lass!' "

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Quite right Nate - keep it down lass - right down!